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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in FOOB Fighters' LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, September 29th, 2015
2:42 pm
On uniforms and delicate geniuses: Chapter One.
As you know, I've speculated on what a continuation of the strip ought to look like. I'd like to demonstrate how I think things would go by showing you an extended story arc from that world.

Date: 6 September 2015.
Location: Milborough, Ontario, Canada.

Looking back on the whole ugly affair, Liz Caine marveled at how much and how little a newspaper article, blog entry or television story actually said about an issue. There she was, looking at the Suburban Section of the Toronto Gazette reading a tidy little article with the headline Milborough Elementary School To Adopt Uniforms Despite Controversy that had managed to make the whole sordid mess look bland and beige and boring. You would have thought that it was a tidy little spat between one group of parents who politely disagreed with a proposal that really didn't affect them one way or another with a group that wanted the reform to take place. This might actually have happened in any other community wherein the idea of school uniforms was being vetted. The problem is that those communities were not blessed with a Delicate Genius and his family. To think that Dad thought Mike had learned his lesson about making a public fool of himself when he stupidly let himself get talked into protesting a very gradual increase in bus fares. Mike did not learn things because learning things is the humiliation of admitting that someone as great and good and important and beloved as he is could possibly be colossally ignorant.

That being said, she should have expected something stupid like that when the whole thing started. As far as she knew, she was first to know about the proposal to adopt school uniforms for the elementary and middle schools in the local school district because even substitute teachers like her were required to attend big policy meetings that introduced big changes. This pleased her because it was so rare that she was the first to find out about anything that went on around her. She remembered how angry she was when Mom had finally gotten around to telling her that Michael and Deanna were a married couple nine months before she was part of what she thought was their real wedding party. Oh, she could sort of get behind the reason because she knew how much her parents hated Mike's mother in law. She could tolerate the fact that Grandpa Jim and April knew. She could even accept it when Gordon said "We thought that you knew and if you didn't, it was because telling you slipped our minds"; what she couldn't accept was the lack of trust behind it 'slipping' their minds. To be fair, it might actually have been that she'd have been so outraged, she'd have made a royal mess of things. To not be fair, it irritated her to be seen as a shrill idiot who can't shut up.

That being said, it amazed her how calm everyone at home was about the proposal when she'd discussed it over breakfast the following morning. Aside from pointing out that parents sort of owed it to kids to teach them that sooner or later, they had to dress how the Man expected them to, Anthony had made a sort of witty aside about the whole thing being the result of peer pressure. After all, all of the other schools are doing it, so they felt as if they had no choice. This, of course, had nothing to do with the regrettable "nuclear mutant" phase he'd gone through when he was in University. There was no connection between his wincing at how he used to dress when he was twenty and his desire to help children get used to corporate casual, no way, yeah right. Ah. At least he grew out of it. Dad never did.

Speaking of her parents, Mom was behind it all the way because it always bothered her that Liz had to be made to feel bad about what other children were wearing. Well, that and the fact that it used to bug her that some kid called the shots and reminded her of her feeling of absolute powerlessness. At least she was finally honest about that last bit. It helped a lot when Therese freaked out when Francoise had died her hair to match the color of her favourite Space Babe like a lot of her classmates her doing. Terri (as she'd asked to be called now) assumed that Liz was stupid enough to join the pageant scene like Deanna and thought magenta hair was a gateway drug to tiaras and hooker couture.

Speaking of the kids, Francie and Jimmy were even okay with it because they said that they liked the uniforms that were being proposed and didn't much like being treated like second class citizens by showy types who thought that the class-room was their own catwalk. This should have been a warning to Liz about what direction the angry screaming about 'fascism in the hallways' was going to be coming from but for the moment, she felt good about how little noise was being made. It was not to last.
Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011
12:49 pm
Stone Season: A Rewrite
I had this idea some time back, and finally followed through . . . I took the summary of Stone Season, the horrible dreck that Mike posted in his monthly letters, and filtered it. I corrected the names, tightened the text here and there, and made a few changes that I think would upgrade Stone Season from its status as a doorstop to the sort of thing that high school English students will be assigned and read with a deep sense of ennui.
Let me know what you thinkCollapse )
Wednesday, December 16th, 2009
12:20 am
'The Legacy' by Andrew McGinn, David Neitzke (Illustrator)
Over on Goodreads.com, they have giveaways for pre-release books. Being a bibliophile, I'm all about trying to win every book that looks even remotely interesting, and The Legacy was one of the books made available today. When I read the summary, I immediately thought of us:

At risk of alienating you from your grandma, do you hate newspaper comic strips? The ones that never die? So did Chas Brown. Then his father died and he inherited a newspaper comic strip. The really cute kind. The kind Grandma likes. Welcome to the hell that is the syndicated gag-a-day. But Chas Brown, an indie comic book artist with dreams and a reputation of his own, has a way to get out of it. He' s going to get Simple Pleasures, America' s most beloved comic strip, canceled. Will Grandma stand for it? If you've ever felt like sabotaging one of those sweet and innocent comics with double entendres and spectral grandparents in hell, Chas Brown is your guy.

Emphasis mine. >:D
Tuesday, July 21st, 2009
5:29 pm
The Best in Life--Chapter 38
Yes, I'm back with more of the story y'all thought was going to be left unfinished before you forgot about it entirely. Hopefully, my brain will continue to cooperate and let me actually make progress on the three stories I'm writing.

Puce Paint and Polyester JumpsuitsCollapse )
Friday, October 10th, 2008
8:00 am
FINALLY Got a Review on 'Best in Life'
I posted it on fanfiction.net a few months ago and FINALLY got a review on it (well, technically two from the same person) waiting in my email this morning:

Okay, seriously? This fic is horrible.

I don't understand how you think you're making Olivia look like a better
person than any of the Pattersons. I'll snark foob as much as anyone, but
while the foobs are old fashioned and ignorant, Olivia and her friends are
coming off as plain malicious and petty.

I know several people who think that the size of the rock is more important
than the sentiment. Some of them would probably even tell me that my
engagement ring is small so it means less. You know what I would do? Shrug,
tell them that it suits me just fine and DROP IT. I wouldn't punch someone in
the freaking face!

Again, Olivia and her friends and family seem to have one agenda only: to
humiliate and belittle the Pattersons, particularly Liz. I dislike the
depiction of Olivia and her crew SO STRONGLY that it almost makes me like the
Pattersons. Stupid though they may be, they would never sink to this level.

I sincerely hope that Olivia isn't a Mary Sue based on your own life.


This was the next review from her:

To add to the previous review:

Also: If I noticed that someone was OGLING my husband (and that's ogling, NOT
oogling), the last thing I would do would be to make a scene. I'd smirk, tell
him he has an admirer and then leave with him, safe in the knowledge that it
doesn't matter who looks. He's going home with me at the end of the night and
that's all that matters.


Dear Ms. M,

You're welcome to your opinion. How, pray tell, do Olivia and her friends come off as petty and jealous? Olivia, maybe. I'll buy that the part where Olivia takes Liz's head off for ogling Kyle could have been written better.

Okay, you wouldn't punch someone in the face. And? You make it sound like Sarah's reaction is something totally unrealistic. Believe it or not, there are those who have shorter tempers than you. Difficult to comprehend that not everyone is like you, I know, but take my word for it: there are, and plenty of people would get pissed if someone didn't take very blatent hints to shut up and lay off. Those with short tempers can get violent.

If you think Olivia and her family make harassing the Pattersons the focus of their lives, there's a long list of situations and people you have never met/dealt with in your life. Oh, yeah, and do the words 'parody' and 'satire' mean anything? Yeah, that's what this is. No one else seems to have had trouble recognizing that.

The Pattersons would never "sink to that level"? Dear, they already have. Mike's a crappy father, Elly's wound so tight if she swallowed coal she'd shit diamonds, John plays with his trains, Mike's a crappy father, Anthony has the personality of pasteboard, and if Liz loves him I grew a penis and balls overnight.

Olivia? A Mary Sue? Oh, please! The bloke from England may have been a bit much but the rest? So she moves to the City to work and a guy she's been friends with for ten years realizes he's in love with her. It's hardly been a rose-strewn path for them and there's a difference between a man accepting you, warts and all, and a man thinking everything about you, including your short temper, is just so cute and fabulous and wonderful and he loves everything about you including your morning breath.
Tuesday, August 12th, 2008
8:34 pm
12:39 am
Foobfics now on fanfiction.net
You can find them at my profile, along with my Lord of the Rings fics, if you're so inclined. There's nothing new; just what I've already posted here.

I'm looking forward to the reactions. *rubs hands together with glee and grins* My other Foobfics will also be going up.
Thursday, August 7th, 2008
9:04 pm
Two things:

1) I'm writing up Liz at canon_sues so I need her eye color and any reasons she a) annoyingly ruins the story and b) examples of her being annoying.

2) Please, let me know what you think of my recent literary offerings. I promise not to bite. ;)
Wednesday, August 6th, 2008
12:16 pm
Saturday, July 12th, 2008
7:20 pm
7:16 pm
7:15 pm
7:13 pm
7:12 pm
7:11 pm
Monday, June 23rd, 2008
8:37 pm
8:30 pm
Sporking Paul's Crappy Biography--Part One
Today's sporkage unloading is about 1/3 of the whole travesty. I figured I'd share what I had done instead of waiting until I'd shredded the whole thing.

Abandon All Hope of Good Writing, Ye Who Dare to ReadCollapse )
6:47 pm
John's Letter, July 2008
For an explanation of John's revelation, see "Canadian Beauty, June 22nd" by monocerosfour on the Foobiverse journal.

John's letter, July 2008Collapse )
Thursday, May 29th, 2008
11:13 am
Friday, May 23rd, 2008
4:45 pm
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